


unlocking the love

by enablelove



Series: the way you said i love you [15]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angsty Schmoop, First Kiss, First Time, I Love You, M/M, unapologetic schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 14:17:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10310120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enablelove/pseuds/enablelove
Summary: Non-AU. I love you said without really meaning it and in a blissful sigh as falling asleep.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is an exercise in writing all of these [prompts](http://trash-by-vouge.tumblr.com/post/132858041745/the-way-you-said-i-love-you). ♥ They aren't connected unless stated otherwise. Italics is past tense.

24\. without really meaning it  
25\. in a blissful sigh as you fall asleep

It comes out of nowhere. Jared is just doing something nice for Jensen – getting him coffee because Jensen is half asleep as it’s too-fucking-early o’clock in Jensen speak. Jared is just doing what a good best friend and costar would do for the early shoot. The ‘I love you’ uttered by Jensen in relief sends him reeling, though. He freezes, hand in midair with the coffee cup and Jensen stops too, realizing what he’s said. He looks instantly more awake, too. Jared knows that it’s just Jensen’s way of saying thank you, and he also knows that Jensen doesn’t mean it. 

“Jay,” Jensen starts softly and Jared shakes his head, holding the coffee out further until Jensen takes it gently and Jared abruptly turns around to get some air, ignoring Jensen calling him. He just needs a minute to breathe.

See, the thing is, Jared’s in love with Jensen. And Jensen? He isn’t. 

It’s been a month, now, since Jared revealed his feelings to Jensen while drunk off his ass one day. The whole Genevieve thing had gotten out of hand and he needed to just forget everything. Who better to do it with then Jensen? The one he felt safe to say anything around. There were so few people in the world, besides his family, that Jared felt like he could truly be himself. With other people, there was always a part of him that was hidden away. But there was something about Jensen that had every façade Jared put up fall to pieces – he felt as if the both of them could reveal every part of themselves to each other – good, bad, and ugly. 

So Jared had continued drinking, become maudlin and annoying he was sure. He only remembers bits and pieces, but the main thing, the most important thing, he couldn’t ever forget.

_“She just wasn’t you man,” Jared had slurred. “She didn’t understand that sometimes I needed space or that I wanted to forget and you do. You get me, Jensen.” Jared remembers his voice going real quiet (in his drunken sloshy brain that is, he’s sure he was still loud as hell) revealing a secret to Jensen. “Sometimes, I’d say Gen but it would really mean Jensen.”_

Jared still can’t believe he had said those stupid things to him. He never knows when to shut his big mouth. It has to do with the safety that Jared felt around Jensen. 

_“I love you, not her, and that’s why it broke.”_

Jared closes his eyes, breathing in deep to calm himself down as he continues remembering that awful day. 

_“Jared,” Jensen had said and Jared had looked up then, realizing who he was with._

_“Oh god. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to tell you. Forget it okay? It won’t change anything. We can still be best friends. I’m so sorry. I’ll be fine tomorrow. I know you don’t feel the same,” Jared had rambled, babbling anything and everything to take back the confession, sobering up a little with the realization that he had probably ruined the one true friendship he had._

_Jensen had looked stricken, like Jared had hit him with a two by four, but he nodded slowly._

_“Whatever you want.”_

Jared snaps back to reality as he feels a touch on his shoulder and he whirls around to see Jensen peering at him carefully, like he’s a spooked horse.

“I’m fine,” Jared says. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Jensen tells him. The conversations have been stilted since that fateful exchange a few weeks ago and Jared beats himself up every time for the breakdown of their friendship as a result. 

“Listen, can you come over tonight? I need to talk to you,” Jensen says, more alert now that he’s had his elixir of life. Jared just nods, not sure what else he can say. He definitely won’t refuse the man. Jensen smiles at him, that beautiful smile that has his eyes crinkling, and Jared feels a little bit of hope enter his heart at the sight. He hasn’t seen a smile that wide since the revelation and that means everything’s going to be okay.

They get through filming, and it flows much easier today than it has for the past month. They finish much earlier, having to take way fewer takes because the awkwardness has lessened significantly. The crew is much happier as is their director and Jared can’t believe they let it get this out of hand. Their natural chemistry had gotten fucked up because of his inability to keep a secret, and Jared silently promises that he won’t let it get that bad again. 

They go to their respective vehicles and Jensen calls out to Jared.

“See you in thirty.” 

Jared smiles at their mind-reading ability, Jensen knowing that Jared has to go home to relieve the dog-sitter and grab some beer. He gets to Jensen’s house and smiles at how Jensen loves on the dogs for a little while, like they’re his own. The dogs bark and whine and wag tails happily for a few minutes, before they go jump on the sofa like normal. 

“Thai just got here, you hungry?” Jensen asks and Jared just raises his brow at him.

“Stupid question,” Jensen says with a smirk, handing Jared his Pad See Eew while he eats his Pad Chili Basil. They’ll switch halfway (well, their own versions of halfway), like usual, and Jared feels tension ease from his shoulders a little at the normalcy. 

They eat and make small talk, and while it’s not quite the natural flow, there’s ease to it that hasn’t been there in weeks. 

After eating and cleaning up a bit, they fall onto the couch, nudging the dogs a little.

“So? You wanted to talk?” Jared asks, trying to rip off the Band-Aid, the optimism he had all day waning. 

Jensen nods and breathes in deep, like he’s psyching himself up for a monologue. Even though Jared doesn’t mean to, he can feel himself hunching in a bit, afraid of what’s coming. 

“Danneel and I are through.”

Jared starts, definitely not expecting that. He thought Jensen and Danneel were forever. That’s another reason he kicked himself after the stupid admission of love. 

“What?” Jared asks, scarcely believing it.

“Yeah, we were both surprised when I told her. It had been going through my mind for months now, ever since your thing with Genevieve, but I guess I was just scared. We’d been drifting and god knows I will always love her; I just wasn’t in love with her anymore. And she realized she wasn’t in love with me either. It was just comfortable and easy at that point.”

Jared nods, understanding exactly what Jensen meant. 

“I think after you and Genevieve finally split though, I realized a few things about myself too,” Jensen continues and Jared feels his breath hitch. 

“I have always been fluid with who I like, believing it’s more the person than the gender, so my family knows I’ve never been hung up on the equipment,” Jensen says. “They’ve always supported me thankfully. I think when you told me you loved me a month ago, it unlocked something within me, something I had been suppressing for Danneel and Genevieve and your sake. I did love Danneel, I truly did, but I think I only went for it because I knew I couldn’t go after what I really wanted. I…” Jensen falters, biting his lip in a way that has Jared thinking untimely dirty thoughts. 

Jared scoots a little closer, knee coming in contact with Jensen’s, and Jensen gives him a half smile. 

“I think I’ve had feelings for you since day fucking one, Jared. I refused to name it or let myself feel it though because I was scared of what it would do, once we clicked so well and the show started taking off. I didn’t want to jeopardize anything, so I didn’t let myself think about it or believe it, just content to be the best friend ever.” Jensen says is all quickly, like his brain is moving faster than his mouth and he needs to get all of this out because it’s been pushed down for so long. Jensen doesn’t usually ramble and Jared finds it adorable.

God, he’s totally _that_ guy isn’t he?

Jensen’s silent now and Jared realizes it’s his turn. Talking is supremely overrated, though.

He leans in, signaling his intensions, and Jensen smiles that beatific smile once more, meeting him for a kiss. A kiss that feels exciting with new sensations (the scruff for one), but still feels familiar nonetheless. Maybe because he can smell the faint remnants of cologne and maybe because Jared knows, without a doubt, that he’ll be kissing this man for the rest of his life. 

Both of them lean back, breathing a little heavier now, and Jared feels completely relaxed for the first time all month. He pulls Jensen up, careful of the now sleeping dogs, and leads him to the bedroom. They’re not going further tonight; exhaustion creeping into every crevice of his body, but Jared is totally down for sleeping together. 

They kiss every few steps, though, unable to be apart for long, and Jared feels his belly fill with butterflies. He inwardly rolls his eyes at himself and what a sap he is, but he can’t help it and it’s not like Jensen didn’t expect it of him, he’s sure. 

The night-light is the only illumination in the room, shadows cast against the walls as they undress down to just boxers. They fall into bed, automatically curling in close like they’ve done this for years rather than for the first time. It’s another too-fucking-early o’clock call in the morning and they need to sleep. They have all the time in the world to discuss, make out, and fuck.

“I love you,” Jensen whispers and Jared feels his heart grow a few sizes, not having realized how much he ached to hear those words.

“I love you, too,” he sighs blissfully before succumbing to the sweet siren song of sleep.


End file.
